From 5 to 10

So we've expanded our best picture nominees this year from 5 movies to 10 movies. This is in an effort to give not just art house movies credit, but also the more popular blockbusters. But since this just came out this year, we feel a lot of movies have been snubbed in the past... so we'd like to give honorary oscar nominations to the following popular Jerry Bruckheimer movies:

• Coyote Ugly
• Gone in 60 Seconds
• Pearl Harbor
• Armageddon
• National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

The original National Treasure was not Oscar material.

Seriously...

So when is Bill Engvall going to get nominated... I feel he's due.

Among the nominees

Among the nominees for best picture tonight we have "Precious" based on the novel Push by Sapphire, "Up in the Air" based on the novel Up in the Air by Walter Kirn, and "Inglorious Basterds" based on a strange novel Quentin Tarantino writes in his free time when he drops acid. Also "Avatar" which is based on how much James Cameron sucks.

I wrote this one for Jay Leno to present

Well, one of the huge movies of this year The Hurt Locker is being represented tonight... The Hurt Locker... you hear about this? The Hurt Locker... yeah, yeah... I was going to go see it... I really was... but then I realized I already had shoes. Hurt Locker. Shares a word with Foot Locker.

The Sandra Bullock Runner

During the Monologue

• Oh look, even Sandra Bullock is here. Looking beautiful as always. She's nominated for best actress tonight for the movie "The Blind Side." But I think we all know that this is just for her snub in "Speed 2: Cruise Control."

During one of the witty interludes

• Well we're already half way through... been going at a nice clipping pace but I think we all know that this show has got to continue at this pace or else it will explode... much like Sandra Bullock in "Speed 2: Cruise Control."

Anytime after that

• Seriously, Speed 2: Cruise Control was an awful movie.